Why aren't Couple Rings Set more common?
It's commonplace to see a bride-to-be flashing her engagement ring on Instagram that we hardly think about why men don't have Matching Couple Necklaces to show off as well. Why is this? It turns out that there are a myriad of historical social, political, and legal reasons, some interesting, and some quite problematic according to modern standards--that women are wearing engagement rings while their husbands don't. This article will examine the history of engagement ring and the current trends affecting how couples choose to propose. We'll also look at why there aren’t more “mangagement rings.
What You Need To Know
Historically, engagement rings upheld gender-based beliefs that women "belonged" to men once they got engaged. As women were more independent they didn't have to wear them.
In the early 1900s, men would gift engagement rings to brides-to-be as "collateral" in the event they break off the engagement or damaged her reputation.
As gender norms change the engagement rings of men are becoming more sought-after. Many men wear them as a symbol of equality in their relationships.
Why women wear engagement rings (and Men Don't)
Due to gender stereotypes that are outdated, men don't wear engagement ring.
Historically, men gave engagement rings to women as a visible indication to others that the woman was "taken" or "belonged" to them--sometimes literally (in many cultures, women were viewed as subservient to men). Men were not considered commodities, therefore they did not require engagement rings to signify their wedding. This tradition has been in place for hundreds of years.
The ring was also used as a collateral in the event that the groom-to-be failed to keep his promise to marry the bride. This could have hurt her reputation and decreased her chances of ever getting married again.
The Romans were the first to gift rings to their brides to represent that they were "spoken-for" or "off-the-market" (terms still used today in a metaphorical sense).
In the early 20th century, women wore engagement rings as "insurance."
In the 1900s in America the idea of keeping the ring as collateral if the husband-to-be broke things off was legalized. The "Breach of Promise to Marry" Law of 1945 allowed women who "broke the contract" to claim their husbands' apologies and to keep the ring, which was expensive, as compensation. The law was never repealed however, today the majority of jurisdictions in the US have either banned it or do not enforce it.
While this law might sound like an excellent idea but its logic is one of misogyny. In the past, women were expected to be virgins on their wedding day, but being engaged allowed couples to be involved in premarital sex (as an unspoken exception to the rule). If the man broke off the engagement and the woman was socially considered unfit for marriage.
Engagement rings were not as popular for men at the time because women didn't need "collateral." Men's ability to marry later wasn't contingent on whether they'd been engaged or had a sex prior to.
Rings for women are a popular gift due to the phrase "A diamond lasts forever".
De Beers used this slogan in 1947 to promote diamonds and "foreverness" marriage. They also opened several new mines and used actors in their advertisements which made diamonds more affordable and attractive to Americans. Men started choosing engagement rings made of diamonds to prove they were serious about the "forever" part (and that they would not end the engagement and be sued).
De Beers' success in marketing as well as the attitudes of the public and the law regarding engagement in the era has led to the traditional engagement ring, which many people picture when they think of engagement rings.
Ironically, De Beers did run ads advertising diamond rings for men, too however the idea never really took off.
De Beers did not invent diamond engagement rings. Archduke Maximillian the Austrian archduke established the trend in European nobility by ordering one for Mary of Burgundy.
Popular Engagement Ring Styles for Men
Classic bands
A simple, sleek gold or silver band with any ornaments or stones is a timeless, yet contemporary look. They are timeless and look just like many men's wedding bands. The bands are available in various metals, colors and thicknesses.
Simple bands can feature an inscription on the inside the band, an inscription or a small stone on the outside, or even one rectangular-cut, flat side to create visual interest (similar to a signet ring).
Minimalist designs
These simple designs are ideal for men who don't like to fuss. Many minimalist rings feature an elongated metal band with one small, square- or rectangular-cut stone (usually a diamond) which is typically encased in the band (rather than supported by prongs).
Some designs do not feature stones, but instead employ clean, simple lines and patterns to create interest around the band.
Statement rings
Who says an engagement ring for a man has to be subtle and understated? Statement jewelry can be created using any type of metal band, in any color, thickness or style, depending on the preferences of the wearer. Instead of traditional diamonds, these rings also feature vibrant stones such as sapphires, rubies, emeralds and more (some even combine different cuts, colors and kinds of gems).